If you're big on personal development, you've probably heard of the term "secure attachment style" as part of the attachment theories. A lot of people come around to this term when trying to solve challenges in their romantic relationships. What is missing from the bigger picture most of the time is that one can actually aspire to be a more grounded and secure person in every area of their lives - especially in professional settings. In today's fast-paced work environment, feeling secure and grounded isn't just a luxury; it's a necessity for both personal well-being and professional success. But how do we achieve this state of mind in the hustle and bustle of deadlines, meetings, and the constant pressure to perform?
A personal story: Performance anxiety is my biggest form of anxiety, followed by social anxiety. Every meltdown episode of performance anxiety had always been accompanied by bouts of insecurity and traumas playing over and over in my head. I went from being the person who would spiral and lose my cool about work, seek validation from my manager and just not feeling calm most of the time, to being this grounded person who takes feedback constructively, sets boundaries, shows up when I say I will, and detaches from ego at work.
Here are some simple, yet effective strategies that helped me find my footing and maintain my inner peace at work.
Understand Your Value
First and foremost, recognize your worth. Remember that you were hired for a reason. Reflect on your skills, accomplishments, and the unique perspective you bring to your team. Understanding and acknowledging your value not only boosts your confidence but also helps you stay grounded in your contributions, regardless of the day-to-day challenges. Also, detach from attaching your worth to the job, you were hired purely for your skillset and experience, not your entire existence as a person. The fact that you are a breathing living soul makes you lovable and worthy of love.
Set Boundaries
Learning to set healthy boundaries is crucial. This means knowing when to say "no" or "not now" to requests that overextend your capacity or infringe on your personal time. Boundaries help you manage your workload effectively, prevent burnout, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. I remember being asked early in my career to have work emails on my personal device, it was a boundary I drew on earlier in my career that I abide by to this day. Figure out what your key boundaries are, and stand by them.
Stay Organized
A cluttered desk can lead to a cluttered mind. Organizing your workspace and prioritizing your tasks can significantly reduce stress and help you stay focused. Use tools and systems that work for you, whether it's a digital or physical planner, a simple to-do list, or setting reminders. A clear plan for the day helps you feel more in control and grounded. You have to organize your life, whether you like it or not - no more excuses. The level of control you have over your schedule determines the level of groundedness you feel about your life.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness isn't just a trend; it's a practical tool for staying present and reducing stress. Take short breaks throughout the day to breathe deeply, stretch, or simply step away from your desk. These moments of pause are vital for mental clarity and can help you respond to work challenges with a calmer, more grounded approach. Breathing has helped me recenter myself on multiple occasions (so has screaming in the office bathroom), but the more mindfulness you practise, the calmer you feel in high-stress situations.
Cultivate a Supportive Network
You're not alone. Building relationships with colleagues can provide a sense of security and belonging. Don't hesitate to reach out for help, share your thoughts, or offer support to others. A supportive work environment fosters collaboration, learning, and a sense of community, all of which contribute to feeling more secure and grounded. Step out of your comfort zone and connect with others, it helps to feel a sense of shared humanity with the rest of the organisation. It was really helpful to me when I realised I faced similar challenges new joiners faced within my team, department and even the financial services sector.
Embrace Flexibility
Change is a constant in the workplace, and flexibility is key to adapting without losing your footing. Embrace new challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats to your stability. Being open to learning and adjusting your approach as needed can help you navigate changes with confidence. Learn to see the opportunities in new ways of working, and find your path within structure and framework. The "rebel" inside of you may not always be to your advantage. Learn when to detach from the outcome and focus on the efforts.
Celebrate Your Achievements
Take time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Recognizing your achievements helps build self-esteem and a sense of security in your abilities. It also serves as a reminder of your progress and the positive impact you're making. Also, learn to be uncomfortable with talking about your achievements. Yes, it's hard to self-promote but you have to sit with that discomfort and do it anyway.
Seek Feedback and Growth Opportunities
Constructive feedback is a valuable tool for personal and professional growth. Seek out feedback regularly, not only to improve but also to understand how others perceive your contributions. Viewing feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than criticism can help you stay grounded and focused on continuous improvement. Constantly seek feedback, try new things that stretch you, and stop being so rigid to change. Your ego is the biggest opposition to feeling secure and grounded.
Conclusion
Feeling secure and grounded at work is about more than just surviving; it's about thriving. By understanding your value, setting boundaries, staying organized, practicing mindfulness, cultivating a supportive network, embracing flexibility, celebrating your achievements, and seeking feedback, you can build a strong foundation for both personal well-being and professional success. Remember, it's okay to take it one step at a time. There are days when I still have my human moments (like breaking down in front of my manager), but I see my vulnerability as a strength and product of my security. I have learned over the years that it isn't my manager's job to validate my input and contribution, and when I feel I am lacking in positive acknowledgement, I ask for it directly.
To get more leadership and career strategy coaching, join our LinkedIn group.
xoxo,
Thanks for sharing. Very valuable tips