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Writer's pictureYvonne Alozie Obi

Escaping the pressure to function as a high achiever



Hi Everyone!

Happy Valentine's Day and I hope you've had a good day regardless. I've been thinking about how social media makes me feel and how it can sometimes make you question your achievements, journey, job, business, and life. It's easy to measure our success by the standards set by others on social media.

I confess that I feel the pressure more often than I care to admit. I've been working on a few projects, and sometimes I get the urge to release them so everyone would see I'm busy, or I get paralysed with worry that it won't be good enough. This pressure is real, and even though I've improved my skills at handling such, many of you reading this haven't and could still be affected by intruding thoughts.

Functioning as a high achiever has a lot of internal pressure that comes with it, and social media pressure heaps on that and makes us wonder if we're doing the right thing. So many times, I've stayed away from social media when I start feeling incapable of handling the heat, and it's been freeing, but at the same time, I believe there are ways to improve how we get influenced by the pressure. I'll list below a few common social media-influenced intruding thoughts and how I counter them:

  • I'm never going to be able to connect with the right people to get my work noticed and invited to the table: This is a lie, and I daily affirm to myself that I have the tools and skillset to construct my table and attract the right people to sit at it. Engaging with people you want to connect with on social media is a great strategy but don't reach. Your work is good enough, and you are enough. You can create and nurture your circle. You can invest and build the relationships around you, and don't overlook the opportunities to connect with people within your reach. Create your circle, choose your friends, and stay true to your identity.

  • I need to launch my project/product now to stay relevant: This is another lie. Don't let the world of social media rush you. Instead, take your time to create something your customers will love. Realign with what truly matters, and that's quality over seeking validation and relevance.

  • I've shared a new milestone/progress; what can I share next?: Don't overthink it, enjoy the moment and be present with the people in your life. Social media has fueled the culture of marking success with milestones and huge announcements. However, we rarely celebrate the little things and experience our journeys (whether good or bad).

  • I worry that if I go away for some time, I'll lose relevance: No, you will NOT. Relevance is solely tied to the life you're building offline and in just being the person you are - alive, well, and content. Most times that I've had to go offline, I've stayed active on LinkedIn because I was probably job searching, and if I weren't, I would be offline completely. Your mental health, wellbeing, and self-worth are all that matter. Resist the urge to give social media the power to determine your relevance.

  • See what others are doing, and see how far they've gone - I need to meet up: Just STOP. Please, we do not know other people's stories and what it took them to get to where they are. You have a whole journey ahead of you, and you do not need to burn out on your way there. Take your life easy, in strides, and be patient with yourself. Surround yourself with people who aren't constantly tensioning you to catch up, but instead love you for who/where you are, and even empower you to progress on your journey.

I hope this helps anyone feeling like they're under a lot of pressure from social media to succeed. I'd love to get your feedback on this to share more lessons. For more support from like-minded individuals, join our career coaching Whatsapp group.


xoxo

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